When You Try To Turn A Beautiful Girl Ugly
When you try to turn a beautiful girl ugly, you will only see yourself. You will forget there is a second person next to you, a second pair of eyes that see you at your highest, eyes that drop down to the floor when she realizes you see your own potential even more. You will forget there is a second hand on your back, pushing you forward, rubbing your doubts away, goofily patting you with confidence. You will forget there is a second pair of feet that takes twice the amount of steps as you, just to remain by your side. At times she runs, she sprints, but one fact remains: she never falls behind.
When you try to turn a beautiful girl ugly, you will forget the power of words. You will speak the first thoughts in your head, thoughts that crush her confidence and leave her questioning the quirks that make her special. You will blame it on your extroverted personality, with a cocky shrug and a good ole “I am who I am. This is me.” You will forget she is a writer, and that writers are the deepest kind to read into every syllable, every pause that occurs. You will tell her that you don’t understand her, and she will internally retreat to replay every move she made, wondering where her simple, effortless love goes wrong.
When you try to turn a beautiful girl ugly, you will notice the little things. But not her little things. Rarely her at all. You will be fascinated by utter strangers around you, pushing aside her warm little feeling of home. You will be drawn to smooth tan skin and long black hair, and instead see her freckles as imperfections and her golden locks as the dullest light. Your face will brighten as compliments are carelessly tossed your way, and she will notice. Her light does not make you shine, and that compliment was not hers. Occasionally, you will remember to notice her, but you will not give attention to her wit, her intelligence, her independence. You will instead notice how her stomach is soft and how her legs are short. You will notice everything about her that she wishes you hadn’t.
When you try to turn a beautiful girl ugly, you will yearn to get a rise out of her. Your mind will ache to play nonsensical games that only you can win. You will pick a fight, or two, or three, challenging her to express herself and prove her love. Silly boy, you will misunderstand her, for her generous love drains and runs dry, and the only warm feeling she holds is soaked into her cheek, with a salty stain as the sole evidence she is not as strong as she once was. You will ask her why she isn’t more like that, and why can’t she be more like this, and with every question she finds she is losing her luster.
When you try to turn a beautiful girl ugly, you will lose your common sense. You will be unable to comprehend her talents when they do not provide you with a direct benefit. You will become boring and simple. You will view her writing as depressing, as you will only be able to scrape the surface and not dig into the meaning beyond. You will roll your eyes at her sarcastic jokes and cause her to silence. You will fill the emptiness with your own voice and meaningless selfish chatter. You will look at her, and your heart, your lungs, will be unfazed. You will carry on without a reckless beating pressure in your chest and your breaths will lengthen. You will find comfort in the fact that she does not excite you or make you feel alive, but instead is a reliable hobby to pass the time.
When you try to turn a beautiful girl ugly, you will turn ugly yourself. You will no longer see her as a pretty girl, if you ever once did, and she will no longer sprint to remain by your side. You will blind her beautiful eyes to everything that makes her unique and special and worthwhile. You will leave her behind and crave something more. You will never know you lost the world.
But she will realize all she has to do is open her eyes, and she will no longer be blind. She will realize the darkness trapping her was your shadow, and that shadows shift and move away. She will watch you disappear and she will get the urge to run the other way. Her run will turn back into a sprint, and she will come to find that one pair of feet is enough, and the only person she needs to stand behind is herself.
And she will always be beautiful.