Saturate Your Life With Honesty
Honesty is more than just the act of not telling a lie. Honesty is that rare gem of a personality trait that, in my opinion, is the most important to not only find in others, but also build up and ignite within yourself. Sure, it’s no good to tell a lie. But what I’m talking about is raw honesty and openness to yourself and your feelings, and not being afraid to let them loose and say what’s on your mind.
Perhaps I’m writing about this topic because at the moment, a) I have had it up to here *waves hands frantically above head* with people beating around the bush and confusing me, b) I have put myself out there and had it blow up in my face, & c) I am currently living in a whirlwind and embracing all YOLO opportunities. So let’s address these.
There are few things worse than when you’re trying to get someone to open up, share their thoughts, argue a point, and they give you NOTHING! We all have that person, or if you’re like me and have super unfortunate luck, those people. They beat around the bush of honesty and seemingly cannot address how they’re feeling at that given moment, presenting you with lots of “umm” and “I mean…” and “I guess…” – or you can tell something is up and they flat out aren’t being real with you. Whether it’s a friend, a boss, a love interest, whatever – it’s frustrating. Especially when you’re a literal person and take every word to heart, when that other person is simply throwing out comments to avoid what’s actually going on in their head.
Now I don’t actually have a solution for this, as throwing your hands up in the air or calling that person out will likely create drama, make them feel bad, or just be a not-so-great call. But I do want to bring attention to how valuable and rare it is to meet someone who can be so deeply (or even simply) open in a mature and well-versed way. If you listen in on random conversations in just a week’s time, you can truly pick up on how many people sound like they’re holding back or thinking too much about what they’re trying to say. Crazy! I think what I’m trying to say here is to stay calm when dealing with people who are indirect, and appreciate all the open and truthful folks in your life.
This ties nicely into point #2 – when you try and balance the seesaw of “man, I should probably get this off my chest” and “oh wow, that atomic bomb just blew up in my face.” If you’re anything like me, you may struggle with being a people-pleaser, which puts you in weird positions of thinking too much about what you want to say (which results in wasting time and saying nothing altogether), sugarcoating the most basic statements, or second-guessing yourself and feeling lame. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that living like this is not healthy! Now, I’m not saying you should be heartless and say the first thing on your mind without considering repercussions, but I am saying that every thought and emotion within you is important. Don’t ignore them. But also, don’t spend so much time tiptoeing around how to address them.
If you’re at work and feel as if you don’t quite agree with a point, then address it. If you’re thinking of someone and want to text them or check in, do it! If you want a night in instead of having to be social, say it. If you think your best friend’s love interest is sending you red flags, tell him/her. If someone ever treats you like less of a person or makes you feel dumb for how you feel, then give them an ole “bye Felicia!” and move past.
Obviously when I reference being honest, it’s about being true to yourself, your feelings, your needs, your dreams, etc. – not about putting other people down, gossiping, stating the obvious in a hurtful manner. We all know those people too.
What I’m trying to say is to never doubt what goes on in your head or your heart. You possess two ridiculously complex and unique organs, and you have every right to address what’s within. Sure, at times it may not work in your favor, but would you ever regret having a vulnerable moment? These moments make you stronger, lighter, and more confident. It’s up to the rest of the world how they want to react, but you can never EVER tell yourself otherwise. Being honest and open to the positives and negatives will mold you into the toughest version of yourself. I personally think if someone opens up and pours out what they’re thinking, it’s pretty admirable. Even if it’s not what you want to hear, or you don’t know what to say, anyone who can put themselves in that scary place is a person with a ridiculous amount of courage .
Without even realizing, I’ve transitioned into point #3 – getting over the apprehension and embracing the opportunities to *once again* throw your hands up – but this time, in a “let’s DO this!” manner. It takes a lot of wrong turns to make you realize that hey, there really is no such thing as a wrong turn. It may not have given you the most ideal outcome, but at least you tried. And that’s truly what counts. Be honest to the possibilities in front of you, and be vulnerable to the fact that they could set you back, but what if they spring you forward?
There are so many wonderful surprises hidden in every little pocket of life, and you should have no fear in openly searching for them. It may start with reopening the door to an old friendship or relationship because that person is on your mind, or it may start with taking the road less traveled in a number of environments. Be honest to yourself always, as there is nothing more inspiring and more beautiful than embracing the little things that make you…you!
And that’s just my honest opinion.