That One Time I Moved To Australia | A 75-Day Review

Posted On December 13, 2015

In 2005, I envisioned a beautiful dream. A wild, bizarre, “dream-on-girl-you-sound-like-a-crazy-person” kind of dream. I became utterly obsessed (and I mean creepily obsessed) with the country of Australia and knew I wanted to one day move down under. It started with visions of kangaroos and surfing, grew into curiosity when I gained two pen pals in Sydney, then accelerated into passion when I began putting $2 here and there into my “Australia Fund.”

I saved as much allowance money as a 14-year-old could. I clipped articles of places to visit, country history, current events, and more. I watched endless videos of Australians speaking, in hopes of one day perfecting the accent (update: I am now 24 years old and still sound like Nigel Thornberry – but hey, I am trying).

I specifically remember sitting in my room, 3am on a school night in 2006, chatting on the phone (don’t ask about that month’s phone bill) to one of my pen pals about how we shared the same goals, the same interests, the same career aspirations– except we were on opposite ends of the earth. From that moment on, I became intrigued with how a country so far away from good ole Baltimore, MD, USA, could be home to such similar people. That curiosity lasted for a solid 8 years, when I finally saved enough money to travel to Australia in December 2013. The day I bought my flight, I cried and I cried and I cried, as I had never been more proud of anything in my life. I had set a goal at age 14 and made it come alive at age 22.

The rest is history.

I’m more than happy to write an in-depth post on what exactly drove me to make the decision I made 2.5 months ago, but basically, that one 3-week trip to Oz in 2013 changed my life. I met my pen pals, traveled up the coast by myself, and realized that Australia was home to everything I needed at that given time in my life. I needed a change of pace, a new independent surrounding, fresh opportunities to test my full potential – and the stunning beaches were a mere added bonus. I then set a new goal to move my life over within 5 years, and I’m beyond thrilled to say that 2 years later, in December 2015, I am currently sitting on my bed in a beautiful, palm tree-filled suburb of Sydney, Australia, typing this reflection as I listen to screeching cockatoos and Christmas music amidst the 80-degree weather.

Folks—you read that right. I moved to Australia! I’m unsure how long I will be here, as it’s too early to tell with my visa limitations and *yet another* goal of gaining sponsorship, but regardless, I am a Sydney resident with a full-time job in the business development/events industry, doing my best to fit in and understand the beautiful culture that exists here.

I’d be writing for weeks if I went through every detail of the moving process, getting assimilated here, etc., so instead I’ll just recap 50 observations of a foreigner living in the land down under. Every day I find myself learning something new, laughing over how I never fail to embarrass myself in one way or another, and at times even filling my eyes with tears over how utterly grateful and proud I am to be here. So alas, through the ups and downs, here are 50 thoughts/realizations of a 24-year-old American expat.

1. Australian birds do not mess around. To simplify that statement, they terrify me. The cockatoo lets out a noise so horrifying, it sounds like death occurring in the air. It wakes you up in the mornings, it makes you spill your beer while on the beach, it sends chills up your spine. The magpie has such an evil look in its eye, you can just tell it’s waiting to swoop down and nail you in the head. On the swooping note, I don’t even try and doubt which birds will and won’t swoop me. One time I was at a lake, making noises at a bird apparently called a plover. It got upset and decided to swoop me while I was swimming – which resulted in screaming and nearly drowning. The seagulls (especially in Manly) are so ruthless, they will grab full burritos out of your hand – or even worse, land on your table and peck the food right off your plate. I was screaming so loud, a little girl fearlessly ended up chasing the gulls away from me. Pathetic.

2. As much as you prepare yourself, you will never forget the moment when you see your first huntsman spider. Sadly, the one that was in my bedroom was only a baby – approx. 4 inches wide – and I was a screaming, crying mess telling myself not to call 000 (the equivalent of 911). Just…the way they scurry, the size…something that large does not belong in one’s bedroom.

3. Kangaroos don’t wander the streets or beaches of downtown Sydney. Trust me, there are wallabies (mini roos) and full on XXL kangaroos, but they’re moreso in the bush (aka the woods) of Sydney – not the city, and not the popular beaches. At least not from my observations. And nobody rides kangaroos to work.

4. What Americans call “neighborhoods” are called “suburbs” in Sydney. I suppose the closest comparison is how there are various neighborhoods within Baltimore (Fells, Fed Hill, Canton), or neighborhoods within Washington, DC (Shaw, Columbia Heights, Dupont).

5. Sydney public transportation is on FLEEK. For real – coming from College Park/UMD and especially the DC metro, Sydney transport is unreal. They have their act together, the people are friendly, and rarely do the buses and trains have crazy delays. Reliable public transportation – it exists!

6. Buffalo sauce does not exist. Even if you order buffalo wings, they come out with some type of barbeque sauce. Nothing like the buffalo goodness we have grown to love in the states. You can’t even buy the sauce in stores!

7. Chipotle does not exist. YOU HEARD ME CORRECTLY. The joyous comfort food that is Chipotle is not only nonexistent, but there is 0 comparison. No Qdoba, no Cal-Tor, nothing.

8. To counter, Chargrill Charlie’s will change your life. Chicken burgers are huge here – meaning a grilled piece of chicken on a bun, with fun tomato, lettuce, aioli, etc. The Charlie Chomper has all of the above PLUS pineapple and bacon (which isn’t crispy like in America – it’s more like what we’d call Canadian bacon), and it will fill all parts of your empty heart and soul.

9. The country is freakishly quiet. Now I’ve only been to Cairns and parts of New South Wales, and I’m using Sydney as my main base in comparison to Baltimore/DC, but the quiet is the #1 thing I have noticed here. Even when you’re in the heart of the CBD (central business district – what we could call “downtown” in the city) in the middle of the workday, it is ridiculously quiet. There are rarely sirens, people aren’t shouting, you don’t hear random booms and assume they’re guns. It is so damn peaceful!

10. Sydney is freakishly clean. Whether you’re in the city or in the tree-filled suburbs, you will rarely see a piece of trash. On the flip side, trash cans are so far and few, I find I carry my trash for a solid 10 minutes before finding a little trash can on the street. Yet, the streets stay so clean. HOW!?

11. Australian crime is nothing, NOTHING, compared to American crime. I won’t go into the politics of gun control, but even beyond that, crime is so minor compared to the everyday life of Baltimore/DC. People don’t get shot on the daily – although stabbings or mugging or break-ins are typically the worse things that happen. I remember reading a news headline that there was a man who went on a “slapping spree” in a Sydney train station – yes, he went around slapping random people. While in Baltimore, folks are getting shot and/or arrested for gun/weapon possession every hour. It’s really something. I have yet to feel unsafe since the moment I’ve arrived, whether it’s 7am, 10pm, or 3am.

12. Street harassment is also not a thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there’s that person here and there making remarks, but it is nothing like back in the USA. You can walk down the street and feel safe and appreciated. Nobody asks if they can get in your pants, nobody tries to inappropriately grab your butt, nobody follows you to your destination (all of which was the norm back in DC). I feel like respect is on a whole new level here.

13. The accents will make you swoon, whether it’s day 1, day 75, or probably day 643. Maybe it’s just me, but they are so ridiculously precious and unique, you can never get enough of them. I’ve picked up certain twangs, but rest assured folks, I highly doubt I will come the slightest bit close to losing my American accent.

14. Aussies truly do shorten most words in the English language. This could be a whole post in itself, but it never fails to crack me up. They shorten the names of suburbs, states, people’s names, companies, food, everything. A big grocery store here is called Woolworths, and for some reason my mouth cannot say the full name, so thank G it’s shortened to “Woolies.”

15. It’s not uncommon to meet someone who isn’t Australian. Whereas in Maryland, it’s a rarity to meet someone exotic with an accent. In Sydney, you have folks who’ve lived here their whole lives, folks who’ve moved from other Aussie states, folks who are backpacking around for a few months from abroad, folks who have moved with dreams like myself, and basically any type of folk you can think of. At my work itself, we have 2 or so Aussies on the team, while the rest are hailing from Mexico, England, Italy, Malaysia, Holland, Ireland, everywhere you can think of. Sydney is a beautiful melting pot of culture and personality and fun stories. It’s truly unlike anywhere I’ve ever been.

16. Chris Brown isn’t allowed into Australia/New Zealand. This one is just for fun, as I was pumped to see him in concert and am a bit devastated. Aussies and Kiwis are not too keen on letting Chris into their countries, due to his past. Bummer.

17. “Devastated” is shortened to “devo.” Enough said, it’s a great word.

18. “Fifteen” and/or “Sixteen” are my favorite words that Australians say. Again, I’m a sucker for the accent, but it comes out more like “fif-taaayn” or “six-taaaayyynnn” and I melt inside.

19. You don’t have to go out of your way to see the iconic Harbour Bridge or Opera House. It’s actually part of my daily work commute. It’s crazy to think a view like that could ever become normal to someone. Whether you catch the ferry to the city (yes, people do that from the beaches) or catch a bus or train, the bridge and opera house are always there looking right at you.

20. Australian currency makes perfect sense. They have waterproof, indestructible bills for $100, $50, $20, $10, and $5. Anything lower is in a coin – $2 coin, $1 coin, then 50-cent, 20-cent, 10-cent, and the rare 5-cent coin. No pennies, no useless change. America needs to step it up.

21. Credit cards have a PayPass chip inside them. Or something like that. Aussies use a tap-your-card system to pay for items, which I don’t believe we have anything like in America. No swiping, signing, inserting, etc. Just tap and go.

22. French fries are called “chips,” and they almost always come with aioli. Seriously, the chips are fantastic and whatever the obsession is with serving aioli, I don’t hate it at all.

23. Yes, the seasons are flipped. And Sydney winter is nothing compared to Maryland winter. November-Feb/March is the hot season, while winter is around June-August. I’ve yet to experience winter here, but I hear it doesn’t get much colder than 50 degrees F. ~rolls eyes~ I think I’ll be okay.

24. Parents let their grade-school-aged children roam freely. The first time I saw a group of boys who couldn’t have been more than 8 or 9 years old skateboarding around Manly, I geeked out and was darting my eyes in madness, looking for their parents. I suppose this comes with having a safe culture, where everyone looks out for everyone, but it’s amazing to see younger kids traveling by themselves on public transport.

25. Aussies have your back. To support #24, Australians are truly the most generous and hospitable people I’ve encountered. There are always the bad seeds out there, but I find that Aussies are always trying to help. You never have to feel embarrassed or threatened by them – they’re always willing to introduce you to new people, hold things for you, invite you to join them places, and just make sure you are okay. On numerous occasions, I’ve met complete strangers who have invited me to literally be their friend, or go to a restaurant or bar with them. And on numerous occasions, I’ve accepted the offers and made new pals.

26. “Partner” is used to describe a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, etc. Back home, partner would typically be used to describe someone who’s dating a person of the same gender, but here it simply means the person you’re with. It took me quite some time to get used to this!

27. Melanoma is huge here. I’ve heard Australian sun is much more dangerous due to the country’s location + ozone depletion, but it’s a very dry heat. After a good day in the sun, you look like a cracked sponge and, in my case, peel for the next few days. You won’t find suntan lotion below 50spf in the stores – crazy. Fake spray tanning is also huge here.

28. If you’re American, you will get asked:
    1. a) do you own a gun?
    2. b) have you been shot?
    3. c) what do you think about politics?
    4. d) do you like Obama?
    5. e) why are people so fat?

True story, I’ve been asked all of these on multiple occasions. Aussies are obsessed with gun laws, politics, and weight.

29. A standard nice cocktail will cost you ~$17 AUD. About $12 USD, but still. The price only goes up from there too. A night out at the bar could cost you a couple hundred bucks!

30. It’s normal to be in your 20s, even 30s, and still live at home. It’s not viewed as weird or unmotivated here – it’s legitimately normal to save money and remain in your parents’ house. No one judges.

31. Rent is paid weekly. AND rent is extremely cheap compared to DC. Before I was paying about $1500 per month to be in a tiny apartment in the ghetto. Now, I pay $1000 a month to be in a modern unit 8 mins from the city/beaches. You definitely get more for your money here.

32. In my 2.5 months of being in Oz, I have yet to have one bad meal. I’m saying EVERYTHING here is good. Whether you get fast food, sushi off a street vendor, pre-made salads from a store, everything is fantastic. Maybe it’s because I eat everything and have low standards, but I am in food heaven here.

33. Aussie employees are treated like gold. It’s the standard to have a minimum of 4 weeks paid leave, compared to America’s 2 weeks. In addition, you get ~10 sick days, PLUS carer’s leave, where you can take days off to take care of a child, partner, friend, etc. who may need your help. And those are just paid leave days.

34. Superannuation is the same as a 401K – and in Oz, everyone gets a super. Back home, select companies will give you a 401K and put money into that account. Here, it’s the normal for every company to designate some of your paycheck into your super account. Again, Aussies look out for one another.

35. Meat pies and sausage rolls will also change your life. Australia has some weird obsession with flakey pies filled with pretty much any type of meat or veggie – chicken pies, bacon and beef pies, spinach feta pies. You can buy them from street vendors, cafes, or even frozen in the grocery store. Sausage rolls are fantastic – basically ground meat in a long flakey biscuit. You will learn to appreciate them come 2:30am after a night out.

36. Each suburb/neighborhood in Sydney has its own shopping village. Literally every hood has a mini strip of grocery stores, cafes, restaurants, and local shops for its residents. No matter how suburban your home is, you will always be in walking distance to necessities.

37. Public drinking is rather normal. I didn’t say it was legal, but I said it was the norm. I always see people walking around with beers in their hand, whether it’s on the beach, on a random residential street, in the middle of the city, etc. I never question it – actually, I tend to follow suit.

38. The bugs really are XXL. They haven’t been as deadly as everyone says, but again, it depends on where you live. I live in a suburb called Neutral Bay/Cremorne, so they only ones I see outside my building are cockroaches about 3 inches long. Or an ant that was about 1 full inch in length. That’s not to say I haven’t seen huge spiders walking around on the sidewalk, or been warned by park security about funnel web spiders that live underground and could kill you in an instant. When in doubt, stick to the sidewalks.

39. Don’t try to argue with an Aussie about coffee. They hold hella pride in their delicious coffee, and due to my low standards, I’m still trying to figure out how it’s “so much better than American coffee.”

40. The first time you order coffee in Australia, you will panic. The normal terminology we use in America does not exist here. You don’t ask for a simple large coffee – it has to be a long black, a short black, a flat white, a latte. Iced coffee here comes with lots of sugar and a dollop of some type of ice cream, whereas in the states its black coffee with ice. That’s it. It doesn’t exist here and I miss it terribly.

41. You will lose track of all the sports that involve water, boards, sails, or boats. We’re talking surfing, paddleboarding, paddle yoga, kitesurfing, windsurfing, wakeboarding, sailing, 16-foot skiffs, SUP ball, kayaking, skimboarding, and so many more. I’ve learned not to question all the crazy water antics I see while at the beach – pretty sure some sports are made up on the spot.

42. American accents will always get made fun of. Not in a mean way, but Aussies love to take away your name and title you The American. “Oh, it’s because The American is here.” “Count on The American to say that.” “They target Americans.” I was told I personally don’t have a strong accent, but have been asked on multiple occasions if I was German (no), Canadian (no), Russian (no), or Australian (I wish). Terms you’re used to saying every day (hell yeah, killin’ it, totally, awesome) will also result in lots of teasing.

43. Dryers and air conditioning are rarities. I’m grateful my apartment has a washer, but dryer machines are pretty much MIA. Resorting to clotheslines and drying racks is the norm, so clothes don’t shrink, but they also take a full 1-2 days to dry. Additionally, it’s more common to have natural air and open windows instead of blasting air conditioning in your homes. This should be a blast come summertime with 95-100-degree days.

44. Looking the correct way when crossing the street is nearly impossible. You have to remember to look right, then left, but I find I look the wrong way even when crossing a one-way street. The left side of the road situation truly messes with your head and takes a long time to get used to.

45. Country music is nonexistent. Probably because it’s a completely American genre, but few artists tour in Oz. There are no country bars. No country on the radio. Extremely heartbreaking.

46. Everything you’ve heard about Australia being a drinking country is true. Back in DC, daydrinking on the weekends and after work was the norm, but we always said it was because DC folks hate their jobs and have nothing else to do. Here, people are so happy, but drinking at any hour of any day is pretty normal. Not promoting alcoholism, but going for a cheeky (meaning sneaky or sly) 11am cocktail isn’t viewed oddly at all.

47. The produce is ridiculously fresh and exotic. Sorry to be bringing up food so much, but the number of different types of mango, the fresh greens, the starfruit and jackfruit and every other fruit…it’s practically heaven.

48. People are truly, genuinely happy. I recall being in New York City a number of months ago, and looking out the car window at how miserable everyone looked walking around. Maybe I’m naïve, but here, people are actually smiling and cheerful. Again, they always have each other’s backs and want to help or have a quick convo. It’s such a contagiously positive, chill vibin’ country that it’s impossible to get stressed or be unappreciative for what’s around you.

49. The surroundings are legitimately breathtaking. Whether it’s the city skyline, the palm trees randomly shoved into patches of standard trees, the breathtaking cliff views, the ocean drives, the beaches themselves, or even looking off your balcony to see rainbow-colored birds or funky lizards. Everything about the country is beautiful and peaceful and calming. It even gets to the point where I’m awed by random rocks I find on the ground—no joke, I have a small collection on my windowsill.

50. The quality of life cannot be beat. Pretty much everything I’ve listed – the happy people, the generosity, how much employers value their employees, the family dynamic, the amazing food, the easy access to such stunning landscapes, the lack of crime and fear here – it all leaves you feeling at ease and so appreciative for what you have. I know I’m in a pretty unique place here (literally and figuratively), and maybe it’s just because I’m hailing from America, but I truly cannot think of a better place to live when you want to take a step back, slow down, and live life a little more simply and a little more happily.